Media Magnets

I have a confession to make, I listen to talk radio. There aren’t that many great radio stations in Houston so I try to keep up-to-date on events by listening to talk radio. Over the last year or so I have noticed a trend regarding the people that call into radio stations. Although I can’t see them through the radio, I have a feeling these are the same people that show up on the nightly news when some major catastrophe has occurred. Do you know the people to which I refer? They are almost always missing some piece of their clothing, i.e. a shirt or their pants… maybe they have a Kool-Aid mustache and/or a mullet… Anyway, I just started to wonder where on earth these people come from and why are they so drawn the media? Do they just like to hear themselves talk or do they really feel like the have something profound to say that will change the way the rest of us see the world? I have further noticed that this is a trend across all types of talk shows – news talk radio, conservative talk radio and as I most recently discovered, sports talk radio.

For example, I was on my way home from the Astros game on Saturday night and I was listening to the 10th inning show with Carl Dukes. The Astros bullpen had blown a big lead (something very out of character) and this idiot called in saying what a terrible bullpen Houston has and how they need to get rid of them all and start over. This caller clearly does not know much about baseball as Houston’s bullpen is ranked among the top in the league. What on earth possessed this man to call in and engage in a conversation that he knew nothing about? Why don’t people understand that everyone has an “off” night? I do not know.

Also, what is the deal with all these people that keep calling in to say they hate President Bush because he won’t let illegal immigrates live and work here? They completely have their facts wrong – it is Bush that wants to allow them amnesty! This, by the way, is a concept that I don’t understand at all. Why would we allow an entire group of people to completely disregard our laws and then reward them for doing so? What is our world coming to?

How Does Blockbuster Stay in Business?

Have you been to Blockbuster recently? I made the mistake of going and discovered that I am never going back. I have based this decision on the following reasons:

1.) You can buy a movie for roughly the same price that you can rent it. For example, to rent “The Saint” at blockbuster it would set you back about 4 bucks; or you can purchase this movie at your local Wal-Mart for approximately $5. And, if you purchase it you don’t have to worry about getting it back to the store.

2.) The employees at Blockbuster are not interested in helping you. I found this out when I went to rent the last few discs of 24, season 4. Just days before my “incident” Mindy and I had gone in to this particular location and rented the first disc of 24 with no problem. Of course, I had to find out how the season ended – so I decided to go back on my own to rent the rest of the season. When I went to check out I asked the guy, “I don’t have my card, but that I have my ID, will that work?” He said yes and took my drivers license and after careful examination he told me that I was not an authorized signer for the account at that address. I was a little confused by this since I remember setting up my very first blockbuster card at this location some 10 year ago. As I was explaining this to him, he offered to call MY phone number and get permission to rent to me. I said – that’s my phone number, you can call it, but no one will answer the phone b/c I am standing right here. I also told him that Melinda (the account holder) does not live at that address anymore. This completely shut the man down. He just started at me and began to repeat “you are not an authorized signer on this account.” Apparently, setting up my own account would not work b/c the address was already in the system under my sister’s name. I tried explaining that Melinda recently got married and that her name has changed and that she does not live at this address any more and I could provide proof (picture me pointing at my DL he was holding) that I do. He did not seem to understand my logic as he repeated “but, but, you are not an authorized signer on the account.” At this point I started to get a little frustrated. All I wanted to do was rent the show so I could find out how it ended. So, I decided to take a different approach. I gave him the puppy dog eyes and said "do you think you can make this one little exception for me? I promise I will have Mindy come in and update your system." To this he gave me the "well, I don't know - you aren't authorized to rent on this account." I wanted to scream. Finally he got the manager involved – to no surprise; I went through the exact same line of questioning with her. After much discussion and an attempt to call my house, I finally wore them down (I think b/c a long line was building up behind me) and they finally allowed me to rent the discs. What an ordeal! I am never going back in there.

Year In Review

Wow, 2005 was a big year for me and the rest of the Kelso family. So, instead of writing individual stories about event I decided to compile a Top Ten list to get you all caught up on what's going on with me.

10. I finally joined the craze and read Harry Potter. This is a great series. I would highly recommend it to anyone! I can't wait for book 7...

9. I took my annual birthday trip to Las Vegas in April. This trip might have been higher on my list if I hadn't promptly taken ill (from the FOOD) and spent the better part of the weekend hugging the toilet or in bed. The trip also may have been awarded a higher spot on the list if that stupid slot machine had actually paid out... As it turns out, Carrie and I were pretty good at the roulette table... Too bad we didn't work up the nerve to try it before an hour before our flight home.

8. I recently acquired a new Solara (the two-door Toyota Camery) and I love it! I have affectionately named it Baby. Baby has a pearly white exterior with leather interior, complete seat warmers (for the week it is actually cold in Houston) and a sun roof. Please let me know if you are in town and I will take you for a spin!

7. Another highlight was the day I quit my crappy job with Northwestern Mutual. I worked for an obsessive/compulsive jerk for right at six weeks. The day I handed in my resignation he freaked out. I honestly don't know why my decision to quit came as any sort of shock to him. During the 5th week of my employment we had a heart-to-heart about "how things were going" i.e. my attitude. During this meeting we both expressed extreme dislike for one another. I told him I hated making the phone calls he wanted me to make (and how he was breathing down my neck while I was making them.) He told me how he thought I was the most insensitive person he had ever met; and that it would make things much better for him if I would smile at him more. Whatever. Anyway, back to the day I quit. I was still in 'training' so I didn't see the need to give him two weeks notice - so I just waited until payday and decided to make that my last day. After I gave him the letter, (Dear Freak-Show, I quit) he gave me a few piddly little projects to do. Once I was finished with those he wanted to talk about the letter. I guess "I quit" wasn't clear enough for him - he wanted to know WHY I was doing this to him. I told him, "I-don't-want-to-do-the-job-that-you-are-paying-me-to-do. I think the calls you are asking me to make are shady at best. I have NO desire to sell insurance, so there is no future for me here; we are just wasting one another's time for me to stay." This made him very angry. He told me how much he hated me and then told me to go ahead and leave. I said fine - please go ahead and pay me for the time I have worked and I will be on my way. To this he replied: No. He said he would put the check in the mail in 7-10 business days. To which I said "No, today is my payday and I would like you to please pay me and then I will leave." We went back and forth about this for about 5 minutes and then he thought he would stare me down! WRONG (Obviously, this man did not know who he was dealing with.) I held out longer and finally wore him down. I did have stand outside his office for approximately 2 1/2 hours, but I did get the final pay check before he got in his car. TRIUMP!

6. On a more positive note, getting more involved with the YAMS (Young Adults Married and Single) class at church has been a real blessing this year. The group has really grown - it's almost like being back in OKC. We started a small group Bible study and have even done a few things together outside church.

5. I went on my very first cruise after Mindy's wedding. My good friend, Tamra came along for the fun and excitement. Most of my dad's family came along as well and we had a grand time. Tamra and I met some interesting characters on the cruise... namely, a lady who claimed to be blind. (Although, Tamra and I came to the conclusion that she was operating under an elaborate scheme to gain attention or possibly to rob unsuspecting passengers.) To our dismay, we also discovered that we were cruising with Gay Pride America. (We had to give my parents a crash course on what the rainbow flag represents and ask them to stop waiving it around on deck.) Tamra was also subjected to extended Kelso family for a whole week and despite what she may say, I promise we're not all totally crazy. :)

4. My beloved Astros brought the World Series to Houston! Carrie Chilcoat and I purchased a 27-game season ticket package and enjoyed going to games all year long. (We are true fans.) Unfortunately, Carrie ran into a bit of bad luck at the end of the season - she had a series of mishaps that forced her to miss most of the final games, including frequent trips to Dallas for work and even a car accident. (Don't worry, she's okay.) So, my dad was gracious enough to attend those games with me when she could not. We had an exceptionally good time at the Atros vs. Mets game when Carlos Beltran returned to Houston for the first time since signing with the Mets... we booed him when he came to bat, we booed him when he fielded a ball, we booed him when he ran onto the field, we even booed him when he went to the bathroom! To make game even better, one of our Rookie pitchers, Ezequiel Astacio, out pitched Pedro Martinez to win the game AND it was $1 dog night! The only downer was that Mat booed so hard and loud that he actually made himself sick. (I think he thought it was worth it though.)

3. My brother, Mat, finally got married to his long-time sweetheart, Lora, in June. (See previous post for picture) They live across the street from where I work so I get to see them lots. :) We are still keeping up the tradition of Kelso Night Out, so my life is full of happiness. (We let Mindy and Bruce come too)

2. My sister, Mindy, got married in October. The wedding was absolutely beautiful and a ton of fun. (See picture below) She lives with her new husband, Bruce, in Houston. Mindy did a great job of picking bride's maids' dresses so that was a plus too. I've already worn it again.

1. I started a new job in June with a company that I really like! (Finally) As you may or may not know, I worked a series of really crappy jobs over the last year... The new job is with an HR outsourcing firm. I help people get enrolled in their health benefits. Very exciting. Hopefully a raise and a promotion will be on my top ten list at the end of 2006!!


Bruce & Mindy

I am about to post something...

Are you excited?

Mr. & Mrs. Kelso

This is my baby brother, Mat, and his new wife Lora. Aren't they cute!! I just thought y'all might like to see a picture.

There is only so much help a person can offer...

So, I was sitting at work today trying to think about what I could post on my blog. I know I haven’t written anything in a really long time and I am sorry for that. I just have to be inspired before I can write anything… I promise I will try to do better in the future.

In the meantime, I found this really funny dialogue from a customer service call center and it reminded me of some of the people that I used to sit next to when I worked in the MoneyLine. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (This is why they record these conversations, I promise I have heard equally ridiculous things!):

Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared."
Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer”

"I can't get online"

So, I got back from a weekend trip to Oklahoma pretty late Sunday night. My flight left OKC at 4:35, so I should have been home around 7:00 – not so. I have to tell you – there were some really stupid people traveling this past weekend. It is just not that hard to gather your belongings and exit the plane. This is not an event that should take an hour and a half! Of course, I was seated at the very back of the plane (right behind a lady with a screaming baby) so it seemed to take forever for it to unload, not to mention the 30 minutes we sat on the ground in Houston waiting to taxi to the gate. Needless to say, I was more than irritated when my ride was finally able to inch their way up to the pick up spot.

It was when I got in the car that my family informed me that the internet quit working after I left town on Thursday. Keep in mind, I have shown both of my siblings how to ‘fix’ the problem if it stops working when I am not there. (Usually you just have to unplug it and then plug it back into the wall.) Silly me, I didn’t think those instructions were hard to follow.

So, I go to the computer to get the problem resolved because no one has been able to check his or her email all weekend. I turned it off and back on again and it still wasn’t working. So, after a few tries, I decided to call customer service. It’s funny – you never know really know who or where you will be connected when you dial an 800#. After THREE AND A HALF HOURS on the phone with various techs, I learned all about the weather in India, the Philippians and New York City. I have to tell you, it is extremely frustrating when you are having problems with a technical instrument and the person that you have called to help explain it to you does not speak English. I probably spoke with 6 different people who all told me that is was someone else’s fault that I couldn’t get an internet connection. Sprint said it was a problem with the router, Linksys said it was a problem with the Sprint, and so they kept bouncing me back and forth. Every time I was transferred I waited on hold for a least 20 minutes before getting someone new on the phone.

As you may know, I worked in a call center for a little over a year. Because of this experience, I try to be especially kind to the people that field my calls. It was becoming increasingly difficult to remain calm. I was at the end of my rope. I just didn’t understand. All I wanted to do was connect to the internet and check my email!! It was working before. How could it just stop working?!?! In the calmest manner possible, I tried to explain this the girl that was trying to walk me through reconfiguring my router for the 3rd time. To which I hear “Yes, Maridiee, (Marilee in Indian), I understand that you are frustrated. I am going to help you now.” To which I said “Great! I would love for you to help me. Please don’t put me on hold or transfer me back to Sprint.” (And please put down that script from which you are clearly reading and HELP ME.) As I am sure you can imagine – at this point I was about to lose it. It was then approaching midnight and I had been on the phone with these people since 8:30 trying to get this fixed. I didn’t want to hang up, because I had come so far. I picked up the router to shake some sense into it and release some frustration when it all came clear to me.

In my siblings attempt to handle the problem on their own, they managed to unplug the cable that connected the modem to the router. Now, for all of you who are not computer savvy, that would be the equivalent of not having the power cord plugged into the wall (which I check first). I felt SO stupid. I told the little girl (truly, she was probably 12 years old – slave labor) that was trying to help me “um, I think I may have found the problem.” She confirmed that the modem and the router do have to be connected and once that was done we were back online! What a relief. As a preventative measure, I did call Mindy and Matt into my room to show them what to unplug and what to leave alone in the future. Of course, neither one of them touched that cord, so it must have just fallen out of the plug – yea, right.